Here you cannot forget or remember

Useless Guys

“The very idea that you need to be something different that you are, the idea that there is something you can get, all that was placed into you!” ......UG Krishnamurti .

A reflection appearing confused

Morning walk

Sometimes I can wake up in the morning and feel like I have had enough. Enough of the whole thing in the sense that I have to do something to make something of myself. It is like a confused message maybe a mild depression , yet not like the one Lord Ram had (as depicted in the Yoga Vasistha). That you have to show the world that you are doing right and good and on the other hand here is another world, another layer which is secret and in a lot of ways ,unspoken. It is the intimate side of seeing without having all this commentary and expectations from society or the mind. It is the silent and immediate

ordinariness of just being where you are which is contented. The people I meet and friends tell me this story one way or another or they convey some secret life in bits and pieces just enough to hear before I jump in my van and go home. Either they can say 'so what!’, and in so doing, reveal some ordinariness to me . Otherwise they ride the wave of wonder and see in delight .Some great experience which arrives in this silent and never ending self. This experience then disappears to absolve everything including the experience. How this is known I have no idea, but can only see the path and invisible line which runs there or here.

From itself to itself

What am I writing about? You may ask .Well it’s about what happens to us everyday, either you have a good day or you have a bad day or you have some underlying unsatisfactory feeling that lurks just there in the back ground while your having a good day :) or neither . Meanwhile I will get on with the job of being sucessful in this world. So something is missing in that ,and we have to look and see what the missing one is all about. Where is the gap gone that we have to fill? Now when we have a chance and really see.

See Ying Yang

And that means having a really good direct look at yourself, we will see or experience a place where our mouth is shut and our senses will be still and listening will be muted. Then nothing is missing and all is without words or understanding. Instead we are just as we are without any understanding. Passing all understanding as the biblical saying goes ‘the peace that passeth understanding ’.Here you cannot forget or remember anything, and your memory is not needed. So this raises another curious question can an Alzheimer patient forget themselves?

Sunrays

Yet aside from this you may ask how does this happen? How and what are you talking about?.......... “Of course I am happy; I’m not having midlife crisis like you are. I 'm not waiting for the love of my life. I’m just cruising along singing my song and people are very loving all the time, or I am or if I’m not I’m trying to be” ……………. "Consider the lilies of the fields" …………….I hear a voice drop into the quiet pool of my mind. I certainly have to let you know that I am not going to tell you something that you do not know. That you do know the answer is something that most teachers and masters will tell you blatantly. For example one wild and wise friend of mine has said “You are asking questions to which you already have the answers. If you did not have the answer, you could not have the question.” Or just go to any Satsang now a days and you will hear the same message that has been told thousands of years before Christ, any good Vedantin will tell you “You are whole and complete as you are” already.



In the fullness is the fullness.

Why just look at the mantra that begins in the Ishavasyo Upanishad:

Om pUrNamadah pUrNamidam pUrNAt pUrNamudachyate pUrNasya pUrNamAdAyapUrNamevAvashiShyateOm shAntih, shAntih, shAntihi

[Completeness is that, completeness is this,from completeness, completeness comes forth.Completeness from completeness taken away,completeness to completeness added,completeness alone remains.Peace, peace, peace!]

Om
So, you are complete, whole and action less. Yet you can have a house full of books and still try to get something, to acquire; that state of unending perfect happiness. And this can never be a state you can have permanently. Yet you are already the something that you are missing, not only that, you are NOT this some thing (you are NOT separate) and this you have to find out for yourself:) To sit quietly and see is what matters and to see without seeing with a wandering mind that wants to fix and understand. To understand this you have to feel deeper than your thoughts. By feel I do not mean emotionally but to look directly at existence and plunge to where this comes from.

Going to the Roots

Do you see the infinity of yourself? Is it not unending? You cannot take away or add anything to the nature that is you. Does this mean I know more than you or that you know more than me? What am I understanding? Or is it beyond understanding.

You cannot take away or add anything

Looking and not looking happen within this unending nature. Expectation, unsatisfactory feelings arise in this unending vision. The appearance of coming and going can hypnotize us into believing that we are not complete .As one good friend advised me when I told him about a relationship that was not going right , “ Don’t let this ruin your holiday!” Well is this complete? It certainly looks unfinished but I can't continue further than this .